role reversal...

So back in May of 2007, I was let go from my job during my pregnancy with O. I was not actually "terminated" (what an endearing term :eyeroll:) from my employer until August, but was told I had to take Medical Leave due to my restrictions during my pregnancy. Although I cannot say for sure (but it is obvious to just about everyone), my employer at that time KNEW that I would not have delivered O by the time my medical leave ran out, and then they could terminate me. August 3rd, I met with the HR rep, my medical leave was running out on that Friday and they offered me a 7 week extension, which put me at one week past my surgery date at HAVING to return to work or being terminated. After discussing this with the HR rep and telling her that there was no way I could return to work 1 week after a c-section with no restrictions, as they required for my return, they terminated my employment that day. It was a bittersweet day, as I knew I would miss a lot of my co-workers but I was so happy to be done with that employer. I gave up a lot during the almost 5 1/2 years I worked there. I loved my job but I did not like the stress and I did not like the way some things were handled. I was often singled out because I was not shy about telling the bosses what I thought about certain situations. In retrospect, I think that is why they wanted me gone. They wanted "yes" men and women and if you know me, you know that is not me. Oh, I would do the work they asked and then some, but when I thought something was ridiculous, I was not afraid to take the issue up with those in charge and tell them why I thought it was ridiculous and what I thought could be done better. Most companies and/or bosses like that, but not there. I think that is why I like my current employer. If I have an issue, I can tell my boss and she will look into it or at the very least tell me that my idea has been tried and didn't work because of this reason or that. She doesn't get mad, she explains and she doesn't take credit for an idea that I have that is implemented. She gives credit where it is due.

Ok enough about that....The real reason I am writing this is because during the time I was not working, I was getting short-term disability payments from my employer's insurance company. It was nice but not as much as if I had been working. Not complaining though, as I did not have to pay for K to be at a sitter since I was not working, so it pretty much evened out. But the day I was forced to take leave, R and I sat down and figured out our bills, we owed on his car, my car, more than a couple grand on my credit card, a grand on his credit card, and mounting medical bills. Plus we did not stockpile and used disposable (name brand even) diapers on K. I did not garage sale very often, R and I only bought new clothes for ourselves-never thrift store stuff but we did buy for K from the thrift store. Never used the bent and dent grocery, never used coupons, didn't stockpile gifts, basically everything I do now, I didn't do before. We figured that we owed $32,000 not including the mortgage. Currently, just 18 months later we owe $2700, just over $200 on a credit card and $2500 on my car!! WOW!! While I was not working and before my disability checks started to come, R covered all of our bills including my credit card payments and car payment. Ok to most this is the way it is supposed to be but we have seperate accounts, which I believe I have touched on a bit in a previous post.

The role reversal~
Now that R is laid off and I am working, I have been paying off his credit card. We don't owe on his vehicle so I can't help out there but I have been paying on his card like he was on mine 18 months ago. He has become very watchful of HIS spending and our combined spending, whereas before I was the one watching the spending and telling him if we could or could not afford to do something. I still take care of all of our bills but R is more aware of the financial situation in the household than he ever was before. It is nice in a way but I have also found that I am more lax. Not lax in watching every dime, but more lax in saying, dang it, I work hard for my money, I want this shirt or I want to buy the kids a toy. It doesn't happen often but it does occaisionally. That is how R used to be and now the tables have turned and it is soooo nice having him on the same financial page as me.